Coming April 2015

Coming April 2015 Baby Carnahan #4!

After a lot of talking, Benton and I decided to have one more. It was a huge decision for us. We know we can take care of another baby. We can most certainly can love another baby. We were hesitate because we weren't sure if we were emotionally able to have another one. The not knowing if your baby is healthy is a fear I hope you all do not have to face. The unknown is heart wrenching and that's why we've been quiet about our pregnancy this time around. We know we cannot keep it a secret because I have been showing for a while but there have been so many unknowns that we cannot answer yet and for that reason we've kept it to ourselves.

Yes, the doctors tell us what happened before is something that will not reoccur again. But the birth defects Allie was born with happens about 1 out of 2.5 million...but it happened to us. So what's to say something like this couldn't happen again? I've learned I am not exempt from horrible things happening to me. And because I know I am not exempt, I worry so much more than I ever have. This whole pregnancy I worried about miscarrying our baby. I kept thinking about all my friends and family members who have experienced a miscarriage, so why shouldn't I? Well thankfully I made it through my first trimester with no problems. But still at every appointment I was waiting for the worst, no heartbeat. But every time, I hold my breath till I hear those little beats and I know all is well till our next appointment.

It's hard to be excited for something you are terrified about loosing. I know what it's like to see my child wheeled off to the mortuary. I never want that to happen again and I am so afraid it just might. I have to say, I have been holding back this pregnancy about being excited.

Now here's our story. I got my IUD removed July 9th and surprisingly we found out we were pregnant August 19th (2 days before Allie and Addie's birthday). We went to our first doctor appointment September 9th-I was 7 weeks along. My doctor said "What? You were just here! I just removed your IUD!" Yes, it was extremely fast. But all looked good.

We didn't tell our girls or family until I was 11 weeks along, after our second appointment. I had already started wearing maternity pants and I knew it was a matter of time before others could tell I was pregnant. We sent this photo out in an email...

My first trimester was physically hard, like most pregnancies. I was constantly nauseous, headaches daily, fatigued, and I had horrible heartburn. Even though I felt like crap, I was happy to be sick hoping that meant the baby was fine. My sickness continued into my second trimester, till about 16 weeks.
Me at 12 Weeks.

At 15 weeks we went in for another check up and found out that we were having a BOY! We were shocked, doubtful and so happy all at the same time! Our doctor said she was 95% sure it was a boy. It's still hard to comprehend, Benton thought we could only make girls...it's hard thinking you aren't having a girl after having three.

So here I am at 16 Weeks. Showing for sure, especially since strangers make comments, that's how I really know I am showing.

And heres me at Thanksgiving I was 18.5 weeks.

We had our big, targeted ultrasound last night and found out all is well! We are more than thrilled. There were multiple times both Benton and I almost cried. Knowing that he is healthy is the most important thing to us and it was such a relief to actually hear everything looks normal. He weighs 1 pound and is measuring exactly right for his due date of April 27th.

Looking at the 4D ultrasound is really something else. You can see features you otherwise wouldn't see till birth. We see Benton's lips in his little face. And he's yawning in the other picture!

And we got multiple shots that he actually is a boy!

I feel like I can finally relax and enjoy the rest of this pregnancy, especially since it's our last. I will keep you all updated as we go!