Walk to Remember

Yesterday we attended the Walk to Remember for all of us who have lost a baby. It was for those who have miscarried, had a stillborn or an infant loss. It's sad to see so many people attend because it means that many babies are no longer with us.

They had a couple speakers and Tim Drisdom came and sang a couple songs. In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed October to be National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. He said in his speech "When a child loses their parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses his or her partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, their isn't a word to describe them."

I'm thankful that our children are still being acknowledged even through their death.

 

 

 

We all took a walk around the park for the footsteps our babies will never take. Then we did a balloon release where they announced each babies name. It was touching and I'm glad there is something in place for all us bereaved parents.

 

 

 

 

On October 15th at 7pm, if everyone lights a candle and keeps it burning for one hour, there will be a continuous wave of light over the entire world. I know for us we never stop thinking about our sweet Allie. She is in my thoughts all through out the day, each and every single day. I feel stronger than I was compared to last year but I still feel sadness in my heart. It's an indescribable feeling. Almost like I've lost a part of me. I'm not sure if it will ever feel different but I know it's because I loved her so much and always will. Please join us in a couple days and light a candle for the lost babies.

Gardner Village

It's that time of year for us to go see the witches at Gardner Village. I met my two cute friends, Ashley and Kamie with their little girls. The oldest girls went on a pony ride which they all loved! I think Addie was a little jealous that she couldn't go, she watched them closely. Hopefully next year she can have a turn. It ended up being the perfect fall day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baby Steps

Addie can walk pretty good now. She still crawls at times but mostly she tries to walk where ever she goes. She will hold things in her mouth as she walks instead of carrying it with her hands. She is a happy little thing and she makes my heart melt. It's still hard for me as she hits milestones, thinking what could have been if Allie were here. I guess that's something that I will struggle with always. Love my little ones.

 

 

 

 

Jazz Scrimmage

Have I mentioned how much Benton loves the Utah Jazz? He's obsessed, well I think he is. We of course had to go check out the new team since basketball season will soon start. We met our friends, the Beckstead's and rode on the front-runner down to Salt Lake. It was Cambree's first time on the "train" and she loved it but I think Addie loved it more. Addison would look out the window and laugh, she thought it was great.

At the game, us girls watched the kids more than the actual game but it was fun being together. It's Benton's dream that I become a huge Jazz fan like he is. I just can't get into it. Maybe I need to try harder? I guess I could try, it would be fun to have something we both loved...I'm just not sure it's basketball? Anyways, it was a fun night even if he's a bigger Jazz fan than I am ;)

 

 

 

 

 

Go Jazz Go!

First snowfall

It happened. We had our first snowfall. My kids were beyond happy, which made me excited for Winter. I usually don't like when it first snows but just seeing them so excited made me get excited for what this winter holds.

This is Addie saying "WOW" as she looks at the snow in our backyard for the first time this season.

 

She didn't care to play in it, she just sat there and looked around.

 

 

 

 

Cambree on the other hand made snow angels, which was a little difficult because it wasn't soft snow but rather wet snow. She didn't mind. She just loves to be outside.

 

 

 

Afterwards we came inside and enjoyed some hot chocolate.

Austin, Texas here we come!

Benton's family has the best tradition! Anytime any of the sisters hit 40 years old, the girls go on a girls trip to celebrate. This was the second trip. I didn't go when Rachelle turned 40, I was living in Illinois when they all went to Vegas. But thankfully this time I was able to join them and fly to Austin, Texas to celebrate Carol's 40th Birthday!

I have never left my children before and I was so nervous before I left. Thankfully my mom watched the girls during the day on Wednesday & Thursday and Benton watched them after work and all day Friday and Saturday. And thanks to technology I was able to Face-time them each day, so it wasn't too hard for me.

Since Carol, Aimee and myself live here in Utah we all traveled together. Our flights were a bit bumpy but it was fun being together.

 

The day after we all arrived we went to the spa. Doesn't that sound amazing? Well it was. I got a 75 minute massage and it was so relaxing.

 

We did a ton of shopping and ate really good food. My favorite was this turkey, ham, and cheese sandwich called the Shiner Monte Cristo. It was AMAZING! I think I'll be dreaming about that sandwich for some time to come.

 

 

 

 

We had heard to go see the bats. Between 750,000 and 1.5 million bats reside underneath the bridge each summer. Groups of tourists come to see the bats fly from under the bridge at dusk each night. We had to see for ourselves. I was the one who had the idea of seeing them but once we got there I was a big baby because you could see thousands just flying around. Freaked me out.

 

 

 

The last day we were in Texas we went on a small hike up to Mount Bonnell. The hike really wasn't a hike. Basically we walked up a bunch of stairs to an overlook of the whole city. It was beautiful to see the city and the river.

 

 

 

Before our flight we had an hour to kill, so we stopped by the Capital building. As we were walking around the grounds we saw a beautiful butterfly. It was flying really close to us and of course I thought of my baby Allie. It was a beautiful ending to our trip.

 

 

 

There wasn't anything specific that I would say was my favorite thing that we did. It was the time we spent together, talking and laughing that I enjoyed the most. I love my mother in law and sister in laws so much. I am so lucky I married Benton because he has the best family. I couldn't be more grateful for the relationships I have with each one of them because they are so special to me.

 

Happy 40th Carol! Love you all!