Sunny Days!

We are so glad that it is nice weather to play outside. The weather has been perfect and we've enjoyed it so much. It's nice to have other options than just playing inside all day.

We love to play on our front deck. It's nice for me to open up our sliding glass doors and let Cambree run around in an enclosed area.

 

 

Sprinklers are going to be a favorite this summer. They can keep her busy for quite a while!

 

 

 

We woke up the other morning and found this cute baby bird just sitting on our deck. Cambree is obsessed with any kind of animal and found this to be the best thing she's seen in a while. She kept saying "Baby Bird, come here baby bird." The bird finally flew away once Cambree got a little to close to comfort for the bird. We talked about the bird all day long.

 

 

 

 

We set up Cambree's pool for her for the first time this summer and she was delighted. She couldn't believe there was a pool in our backyard after she woke up from her nap. Roxy also enjoyed it, she's obsessed with swimming.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And who doesn't love corn on the cob?

 

 

 

Looks like we're in for a fun summer playing outside!

Happy Father's Day!

Benton is truly the best Father out there. I am so very blessed with such a kind, supportive, hardworking, loving, fun husband. I wish you could all see just how cute he is with Cambree. She lights up every night when he comes home, she runs around our house giggling once the garage opens. Benton spends a lot of time with her every night. They play blocks, put puzzles together, they hide in her tent, play with her doll house, throw toys to Roxy, look at the bird feeder together, and my favorite is when they dance together. They do this every night until she goes to bed. And on the weekends she's as spoiled as can be. She's always confused when he returns to work on Monday's. Every Monday she asks "Where'd daddy dough (go)?" He is a dad who will always be there for his daughter and I know he will support her with anything she chooses to do. I love how involved he is in her life, I couldn't have it any other way.

He also is amazing with our twins. Since I have been pregnant he has been by my side doing anything he can for me. I have always loved being pregnant because I can pretty much get away with anything. If I am craving something he is more than happy to get it for me. He is always concerned about my safety. So much so that he drives on slower streets when I'm in the car and he tells me to drive different routes when he's not with me so that I'm safe with all our kiddos. He makes sure to let me know when I can't get a hold of him to "Call your sister if you need anything because I'll be in a meeting." And since finding out the health concerns with one of our twins, he's held my hand through it all. He's held me while I cried and listened to my every concern.

I could not raise my kids without such a loving Father. He makes our whole family so much better. We love you Benton.

 

25 week Dr Appointment

We went and saw our Perinatologist yesterday where we also met up with a Genetic Disorder Counselor. It was a long appointment, with a TON of information. I'm not going to go into all the details because a lot of it is decisions Benton and I are making as their parents and what we think will be best for them both.

What we know is that both their heart beats looked/sounded good. Baby A is still healthy and doing great. They are still unsure if Baby B's bladder is on the outside of her body. They want to do a Fetal MRI, so they can can get a better look at her CDH (Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia) as well as her bladder. Her Spina Bifida is on the lower part of her tail bone, which they can do surgery on to help fix. The most concerning problem is the CDH. The life expectancy for babies born with CDH only make it to about a year old. If both babies make it to term I will deliver at the University of Utah, so they can take her over to Primary Childrens. They will induce me by 36 weeks. Baby B has to weigh 4.5 pounds in order for them to be able to operate, so I need to be at least 32 weeks along.

We are hoping and praying everyday that they both make it till delivery. It would be a blessing to give birth to both of them. Any time that I have with them will be an incredible gift.

The Unimaginable

On May 30th I got all ready for our big 3D ultrasound appointment. I of course had Benton take a picture of me at 23 weeks...

 

I have been so excited for this appointment, I love how long they spend looking at the baby/babies. Unfortunately as our appointment progressed the technician noticed some abnormalities with one of the babies. She got some cute shots of each of them and of them together.

Baby A is a girl...

 

 

Here's our sweet Baby B...

 

Baby B is on the left and Baby A is on the right, they look so cute snuggled up to each other...

 

Baby B is really squished so they couldn't tell us for sure if it is a girl but since they share the same placenta they are expecting them to be identical which means Baby B is also a little girl. Baby B doesn't have much fluid around her which brought up a red flag. Our technician also noticed a couple other concerns and sent us straight over to McKay Dee to see a Perinatologist (high risk pregnancy doctor). After about an hour ultrasound we met with the doctor who told us the devastating news.

Baby B is most likely not going to make it. And since I am so far along there isn't anything they can do to help her. She has spina bifida, her bladder might be growing on the outside of her body, she has a congenital diaphragmatic hernia which is causing her heart to be on the wrong side of her body, her kidneys aren't properly functioning and she has very low amniotic fluid.

We are in shock, and are still processing all this information. They said if she had only one or two things wrong with her we might be able to figure something out but unfortunately she has a bunch of problems. Only time will tell if I will be able to deliver them both alive. I will end up delivering them both at the same time, even if Twin B passes away before I make it full term. They are also concerned with our healthy baby girl because if Baby B passes away in utero it can cause complications to our healthy baby since they share the same placenta. We are hoping and praying that they both can make it full term.

My worst nightmare has come true. I never thought I'd have to bury one of my own babies. I am ill just thinking about it. I am emotionally exhausted. I cry every time I feel her move knowing she might not make it and I can't help her. If she passes I hope she goes peacefully and won't be in any pain.

I had dreams of the twins growing up together. Having my 3 little girls being best friends. Playing dress up together, dancing around the house together, sharing each others clothes, listening to them giggle with one another. I was so thrilled to have 3 girls, mostly because I have 2 sisters and I couldn't imagine anything better for my kids. I feel as if my dreams have been shattered.

Now I can only pray that we will be able to deliver one healthy baby girl and at least get to hold our other little angel I was so lucky to have held in my belly till she is born. I am the type of person that believes everything happens for a reason. At this moment I'm unsure of why this is happening to us but I have to believe that something good will come out of it.

My next appointment is this week and then weekly thereafter. I will keep you all updated on what is happening with our little girls as we go. I am so grateful for my sweet husband who is and will be there for me each step of the way, I couldn't imagine doing this without him. Benton and I both believe in miracles and we are hoping both our little girls make it. We hope our sick little one can be one of those babies who surprise us all and surpass what the doctors expect. We are not giving up because we truly love both of our girls.

Cambree is 2!

Our little sweetness is actually 2. It's so crazy to think how this time 2 years ago we had just given birth to her. It seems like she's been apart of our family longer than that.

Here's a little bit about Cambree at age 2...

~Favorite TV show is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, or in her words "Daisy Mouse".
~Favorite Foods: Banana's "nana's", cheerios "soso's", hot dogs, mac & cheese, cucumbers & ranch, applesauce "appleauce", cheese, cookies "wooties", and bread.
~She wakes up between 7-7:30am, naps from 1-3:30ish, and goes to bed each night between 7:30-8pm.
~Unfortunately she still wakes up about one night a week. She'll call out for who she wants. Sometimes I'll go in her room and she'll say to me "I want Daddy."
~Everyday she asks "Where'd daddy dough?" translation "Where did Daddy go?"
~If you sing the Abc's and stop, she'll say the next letter.
~Loves to count, she can count pretty good up to #10.
~She knows pretty much any animal and what sound they make.
~When she's mad or upset she'll say "NOT"....and babbles off at you.
~She say's "Stop it _____" because we tend to say that same phrase to Roxy.
~If you look sad, she'll come up, hug you, and then put both her hands on your cheeks with a really concerned face.
~She's a little OCD (my fault, I know) it drives her nuts if she spills something, it has to be cleaned up immediately. Also if she gets something out of a drawer, she can't continue until the drawer is shut.

In her words:
Rossy= Roxy
Peas= Please
Otay= Ok
Stairy= Scary
Tammy= Cambree
ho= hello
e e aught= monkey

We were blessed with a wonderful, sassy little girl. She has a ton of personality and I can only imagine how much more we're in for. I'm so glad she still loves to snuggle and give me hugs & kisses. I wish she could stay little forever. She is at such a fun age, where everything amazes her and she giggles throughout the whole day. We love you Cambree!

Even though we already had a birthday party, I thought we should still do something fun on her actual birthday. I was raised that your birthday is a big day and you should celebrate, so that's exactly what we did. We drove up to my sister in law's, Aimee's house to hang out with her and her kiddos. It was a little chilly out, but decided it would be fun to all go to the pool, Benton's mom was even able to join us.

We're all ready to go swim!

 

Cambree is a dare devil and knows no fear in the pool. Before I could even set my bag down and take my shoes off she was in the pool jumping up and down. I had to run in and grab her because she was jumping up and down laughing while swallowing a bunch of water. We need to get her into swim lessons, ASAP!

 

She was all smiles, she couldn't be happier...

 

 

 

Don't you worry, she throws her good share of fits...

 

Aimee & myself, I have the best sister in laws!

 

She zonked out on the way home, I can't help myself not take a picture of her while sleeping...she's so sweet!

 

Happy Birthday my Big 2 year old! We love you!

Party time!

This week Cambree turns 2! I cannot believe two years have past since we gave birth to our sweet little girl. Benton and I can't believe sometimes that we were married for six years before we had her. It's hard to remember what our lives were like before she joined our family. She has brought such life and laughter in our home that we would never want to go back to our lives before she was with us. On Sunday we had our families come over and celebrate Cambree with us. She truly is loved by her family, we had such a great turnout!

Cambree and myself before her party...

 

She was beyond thrilled when I brought home balloons. She squealed and ran around the house for a good 30 minutes with her balloons. She was in heaven, it was pretty cute.

 

 

 

Opening presents, she still doesn't understand what's going on...

 

 

Eating yummy cake...

 

 

 

Our nieces, the Carnahan girls...

 

Nanny with Cambree...

 

My parents with Cambree, we were so lucky they were in town from Georgia!

 

Papa Carnahan and Cambree...

 

The Westbroeks, Maughan Family & Benton...

 

I tried to get everyone, but didn't quite do as well as I hoped. Thank you all so much for coming, you made Cambree's day so special!